Figuring out when to trust your butterflies and when to pull the brakes isn’t always easy, especially if your romantic interest keeps pursuing you. The trouble with most women is that their hearts often desire bad boys and their intuition tells them to pick up their purses and go home, but they seldom do that. Today’s story is about those butterflies that should have been ignored but weren’t even though the signs were there. For a change, D. and T. didn’t find love online but actually met in person by chance, which was even more the reason for D. to pack up and go given that the full picture was right in front of her eyes from the start.
- D. and T. met through friends in early spring of 2017 while she was on a trip in London. When her inner circle suggested they all take a trip somewhere they’d never been, D. jumped at the opportunity to blow off some steam after a painful period in her life. They were supposed to stay in town for four days, see the sights, catch a few shows, and go out on Saturday night, which is where T. came in. He was a local and knew one of D.’s friends relatively well, and when she called him up he offered to take them out and show them the town. The girls agreed and were excited to have someone show them the ropes and take them places tourists rarely get to see.
This wasn’t a love-at-first-sight kind of thing because it took D. about two hours that night to notice him, but once she did, she couldn’t believe the effect. She became giddy, her palms were sweaty, and she was constantly looking for tiny little ways to talk to him. He wasn’t her type per se, which is why he didn’t catch her eye instantly, but he was very social, down-to-earth, and seemed pretty approachable. The trouble was that D. became aware of his presence when he started telling his life story to everyone present. There was talk of growing up in a foreign country, divorced parents, a troubled only child that went through a juvenile delinquency stage in his youth, and lots of parties that followed filled with booze, women, and recreational drugs.
- has always liked steady relationships and has only dated a bad boy once in her early 20s, and since she was nearly 35 she wasn’t going to start then. But T. thought differently. She’s always liked blond guys with blue eyes, and T. was a complete opposite with black eyes and a darker skin tone but was handsome nevertheless and when she caught his gaze searching for hers the first time that night, she knew there would be ‘trouble’. He wasn’t pushy, but his subtle smile revealed he liked her too, and she couldn’t believe his spontaneity. T. was obviously on his home turf in every sense, while she was far away from her comfort zone and should have known better, but those butterflies had the last word.
The night was progressing as usual with a little bit of drinking, a little bit of dancing, and a little bit of talking until all of a sudden everyone rushed outside the club seemingly very upset about something. She found herself in the middle of a strange situation with her friends still inside, and her, T. and a few of his buddies yelling, running towards his car, and getting inside in a hurry. She’s still trying to explain to herself why she followed them like she did, shushing her intuition in the process, and pretty soon finding herself on the parking lot of his apartment building. Everyone else had parked there and after a short conversation they each got into their car and drove away, and she was left standing with a dilemma. Should she call a cab and go back either to the club to find her friends or back to the hotel, or should she follow her butterflies all the way up to his place?
To this day, she’s still unsure as to why she did the latter, probably because she had never really had a fling or ‘lived a little’ as her friends often put it. All she knows is that she surrendered herself to him much easier than she ever thought possible only to find out the morning after that he was married after talking to her friends about what had happened. There is something about having a one-night stand in a foreign country, but the thing with D. was that she felt pretty stupid and immature afterwards even though she was a willing participant. What exactly did she fall for? Sure, he was cute but so were lots of other guys before him and she’d never jumped into bed with any of them. He was charming, but it’s not like he was anything she’d never seen before.
- simply knew his way around women and had a smile that could disarm much more confident girls than her. Despite the fact that she saw pretty quickly he wasn’t the type of person she’d ever ‘take home to meet her parents’, she simply chose to follow those butterflies instead of her brain. Does she feel embarrassed about her actions? Well, only a handful of her closest friends know about it anyway and they’d never judge. But there is just something irresistible about falling hard for a guy in a foreign country even if it makes you feel bad about yourself.